I'm really into asian looking animals
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
