she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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