I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
