okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
You can't just leave with hair like that
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
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