I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize