so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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