BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
