im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
