Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
