from now on my penis is your penis
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
