I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Randomize
