Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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