just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
