I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You can't just leave with hair like that
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Will exercising make me less horny?
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