one might say we're banned from that church
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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