No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
