wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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