Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
