There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
