NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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