Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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