there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
