Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
