Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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