So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Randomize
