Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
