Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
