You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
