i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
That accounts for only three of the penises
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
