Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I checked into jail on foursquare
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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