he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Randomize
