So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
