I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
