I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
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