Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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