used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
