I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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