Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
