I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize