can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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