I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
