I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
