It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
