it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
