what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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