some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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