I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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