belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
