I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
