if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
