you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
