I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
my liver is dry heaving
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
