Me too!
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
The ass gains better be worth it
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