no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
