She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
