Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
