i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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