Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
