I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Randomize
